Lets talk about your duty..... your parents, grandparents or loved one raised you, giving you everything you could need, fed you, clothed you, ran you around to appointment and now it's your turn to give back right? Absolutely..... but..... how do you maintain the relationship of mother-daughter, father-son, when you are the main caregiver... You know what they say- once and adult, twice a child.... when the tables turn and you become the caregiver it really is no different then adding another child in the family except...... they may live in another home and they are fighting to maintain control of their independence........
What happens as we age.... the body starts to break down, the normal aging process begins... Think of your car.... yes I am relating our bodies to our vehicle..... a brand new car smells good, shines brightly, runs like a charm with it's engine humming along, takes no time to get up a hill..... takes us where we want to go with no problems what so ever..... but as it ages the wheels go bald, the oil seems to need changing more often, it drips, leaks, smells funky, becomes sluggish and the paint becomes dull...... our bodies are no different!!!
Even if we are healthy physically and mentally the normal aging process will slow us down somewhat.... oh there are many many things we can do today to stay healthy, limber and keep our mind active but reality is that our bodies will age...... can't stop time... that is one thing we haven't found out how to do yet.......
As we age, we may not be able to do some of the things we could before and need some help... without even having disease we may start to rely on our families more and more.... our loved ones, children, spouses, neighbours or others to do normal every day things that we need done as activities of daily living......
But..... what happens to our loved ones as they add all these extra chores to their lives.... they can become overwhelmed that can lead to frustration and even resentment....
Simple steps you can take to help maintain sanity:
- ensure you leave yourself enough time between errands to maintain a reasonable pace
- don't book too much for one day - you become stressed and your elder won't be able to manage very well
- make a list of what you need to do for the week for yourself and your loved one
- double up... when you grocery shop, or visit the drug store - take both lists and do it all at the same time
- get a professional caregiver in to do personal care..... crossing that line will surely change your relationship from one of what you have now to full time caregiver
- do not attempt to do housecleaning for both homes, if you must maintain your own housekeeping then do so but do not add your loved ones to your list of chores... call in a professional company to do this.....
- have a heart to heart with your loved one... making sure they hear that you have their best interest at heart and if you are stressed you will not be able to care for them at your optimum.... explain its not about having a stranger in the house it's about your health as well as their well being
- seek out opportunities to care for yourself physically and mentally - take time for yourself to take classes, yoga, walk, read and anything else that you love doing
- maintain your own physical health, eat healthy, maintain good sleeping habits, get massages and seek support from caregiver programs....
